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WrestleMania 34 Play-by-Play: The Bludgeon Brothers emerge as Tag Team Champs



Following the incredible Rousey/Angle vs Stephanie/HHH, we have the Smackdown tag team match. New Day comes out to 3D pancakes, unicorns. Xavier Woods plays the original tune to summon the Dragonzord in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers to summon small people in pancake outfits. Anyone who couldn’t get snacks now has pancakes. Some of the pancake people do the worm. An entrance only the New Day could do.

Usos are out next (what’s with champions coming out second in triple threat matches tonight) dressed in all white. This is the first time they’ve ever been on the Wrestlemania main card. A crime deserving of the Uso penitentiary.

Bludgeon Brothers next. Harper with a skull mask. Rowan’s mask looks like an Ewok.
New Day drop kick the Bludgeon Brothers off the apron before they can get in the ring. Kofi hits Jay Uso with Trouble in Paradise but the Bludgeon Brothers pull him off and drop him. Jimmy Uso tries to jump onto Rowan but is caught and dropped. Big E is slammed into the apron. Xavier Woods hesitates, then attacks the Bludgeon Brothers only to get a powerbomb into the ring post for his efforts.

The Bludgeon Brothers roll Kofi into the ring and hit Kofi with an assisted splash. Jay Uso is picked up and dumped out. Bludgeon Brothers go for their finisher, Big E distracts. Jimmy Uso tags himself in. Harper gets a couple super kicks, goes to the corner where the Usos do some more kicks to take down Harper.

Big E slides in to go for the Big Ending on Harper but Rowan saves him. Usos put Harper down then double dive at Rowan who catches them but the Usos double suplex him. Big E deadlifts Harper up and tags Kofi for the Midnight Hour but Harper escapes. Harper counters Kofi, sits on the top. Usos go for a double Superplex, Big E adds for the tower of doom but Rowan pushes off the Usos and throws Big E out of the ring. Rowan slams Kofi, then picks him up to Harper’s shoulders where they hit a tag team power bomb from the top for the pinfall.

Bludgeon Brothers are the new Smackdown Tag Team champions. A fast, short, chaotic match.

Alex Mihailoff is a WWE fan who loves a good storyline and overanalyzing the WWE. He doesn’t know everything but will readily give his opinion on anything.

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