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WrestleMania 34: The Undertaker makes quick work of John Cena

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The Fan is here! John Cena comes out after running up the ramp and hour or so ago. Jojo says this match is scheduled for one fall and the bell rings so this match is happening? Commentary seems confused.

A ref enters to John Cena’s music. That’s a Wrestlemania dream right there.

Crowd chants for Undertaker. Cena looks disappointed for whatever the ref said and left the ring.

Lights shut off.

Elias strums the guitar. Not on TV: my giant smile.

Elias plays himself down to the ring. His silk kimono looking outfit is very flowery. He taunts the crowd for expecting somebody else. Says he’s better than that “someone else”. He’s more talented, more charismatic, and more athletic.

Elias tells John to exit the ring. This won’t end well. Cena leaves the ring and goes back to his seat.

Elias sings a song about how this is Elias’ night. He’s not what John expected. “John Cena sucks because he’s just like all of you” bring Cena into the ring for the shoulder tackles into the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the Attitude Adjustment. Five moves of doom completed.
Crowd chants for Undertaker again. John Cena’s music plays. Cena looks despondent, gives a half hearted hand signal to the crowd and walks up the ramp looking disappointed.

Cena’s music cuts off. He stops walking.

Lights shut off again.

Blue light in the ring. Undertakers coat, hat, and gloves appear. Purple lightning strikes them. Lights go out. They disappear.

Light on John. He looks interested.

Gong hits. Crowd goes nuts. Fire pyro goes off. The screen fills with smoke and blue light.
He’s here. The Undertaker rises from under the stage in full coat, hat, and gloves. No American Bad Ass.

Undertaker takes his classic slow walk to the ring.

I will take this moment to say they actually got me. After the Elias shenanigans, I thought Undertaker wasn’t coming out and I wouldn’t have been mad at that. But here we go.

John Cena vs. Undertaker. Wrestlemania 34.

In the place where the streak was broken. Undertaker looks to be in fantastic shape. Better than he has in years. John Cena looks rightfully afraid.

Purple lasers encircle the Undertaker in the ring. Taker removes his coat, steps back into the middle of the ring, removes his hat to do his classic eye roll.
Cena looks amazed.

Taker comes straight at Cena. A boot followed by several quick punches. Cena tries to throw Taker into the corner. Taker counters, goes off the ropes, hits the jumping clothesline. Taker takes Cena to the Old School.

Taker gives Cena two splashes in the corner, hits Cena with Snake Eyes, the big boot, and the leg drop.

Taker looks 5 years younger.

Taker goes for the chokeslam. Cena counters to the back suplex. Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Taker sits up which the mere act of drops Cena. Taker hits Cena with a chokeslam. Taker does the throat cut and hits John Cena with the Tombstone Pile Driver for the pin.

It happened. Cena vs Taker.

Taker walks to the stage, turns to face the crowd, throws his right fist into the air, and walks into the back as only he could.

Alex Mihailoff is a WWE fan who loves a good storyline and overanalyzing the WWE. He doesn’t know everything but will readily give his opinion on anything.

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